tell papa that you said " First Gamin: "Tell him, if he brings up nothing but canary-birds like you, he had better strike." Third Gamin : "Give me a back, I want to see the vivandière." First Gamin: "Of what use? She squints." Third Gamin: "Did you contemplate the drum-major?" First Gamin: "Just as if he was made of sweetstuff." The Captain: "Shoulder arms! To the right!" Lieutenant: "To the right!" Sergeant: "-ite!" The Drums: Ratta, tat, tat. The Bugle-Sax: "What a relief! my lips have lost all feeling." A Corporal: " Mademoiselle Virginie was at the window. She telegraphed a signal. O my heart, be still!" An Invalid: "They march very well for recruits, but not as we did." First Gamin: "Ah, that was what wore out your leg, and obliged you to have one made of wood." The Invalid: "Scamp!" Third Gamin: "Take care, or he will relate to you all his campaigns." A Bourgeois at the window : "I feel as if I was looking at myself, Elodie, when I had the honour of being part of the ninth legion of National Guard. Why, we kept the step like old soldiers." An Omnibus Driver: "Hallo, there! out of the way of the horses." A Gentleman on the box-seat: "Ah, if you did not hold them in!" The Driver: "It would soon be over them." One of the Horses: "To think that one has also been in the army in one's time, and now to have to be pulled about for these idiotic Parisians." The Gentleman: "Look at that one. What a lot of medals and crosses!" The Driver: "He did not gain those by threading pearls." The Gentleman : "How hot they are!" The Driver: "Better than being cold. If you think it is preferable to be seated here all the year round, I should like to see you in my place-you who make insinuations." The Gentleman: "I don't make insinuations." The Great Drum: Bang! bang! bang! The Bugle-Sax: "What, our turn again?" First Cook: "I must run away. My ragoût is on the fire." Second Cook: "One would not be tired looking at handsome regiments like this for a whole month." First Cook: "Not to mention that I have a mistress, and she is the queen of fault-finders." Second Cook: "Do you put up with that kind of thing?" First Cook: "Ah, I bet you anything she will get up a scene because I came down to look." Second Cook: "I would give it her back again." First Cook: "My tongue is not in a case, I can tell you. I shall tell her I have been for coals, and as she does not pay the coal-man she won't dare to ask me why I was so long away." Captain : "Arms to the left." Lieutenant: "Left shoulder." geant: "Left!" Ser596 THE FOREIGN COUNT. CHAPTER I. INTRODUCES THE HEROINES AND A HERO, AND DESCRIBES A QUARREL BETWEEN THE TWO FORMER, AFTER THE FASHION OF BRUTUS AND CASSIUS. "My own dear adorable Julia, I love you sincerely, devotedly-I love you to desperation indeed I do. I cannot express all my feelings-all I want to say; words fail me, and, even could I summon them, they would not, they could not, interpret the sentiments of my heart-a heart devoted to you-long devoted since you were a mere child. Even then I had a presentiment that you were to be my destined" While speaking, he knelt and took her hand, which, somehow or other, the young lady, Miss Julia Singleton, in forgetfulness of the interpretation which might be attached to her conduct, did not withdraw. "That's what I call bosh-arrant bosh, Frank," she answered, in a scornful tone. "You used to tease me out of my life, I know, at the time to which you allude, like a great unmannerly schoolboy as you were, and now you come home with the exalted rank of an ensign in a marching regiment, annoy me even more than you did then with your absurd protestations of affection, the only qualification to my annoyance being that I do not for one moment believe that you either do, or can feel, as you assert you do. Now, get up from your marrow-bones-you would call them so, wouldn't you?-put on your gloves, and sit down and tell me in sober language how you like being in the army-what you think of your brother-officers-and whether they think you a muff or a brick-isn't that the correct phraseology?-and, indeed, what they say to you and of you, and all about yourself. You see I am interested in you-nay, I'll acknowledge to a sneaking regard, such as cousins of the second or third degree are allowed to entertain for each other, and should be ready to give you a vast amount of excellent advice if I thought that you would have the sense to appreciate it, which, from your present behaviour, I own that I am inclined to doubt." Frank Marsden sprang to his feet with wonderful agility as Julia got thus far, and, striking his forehead with his right palm as he let go the lady's hand, exclaimed: "Julia, I did not expect this from you. You taunt me-you mock me-you speak to me as if I were a mere boy-a dull, senseless cloda" "I beg your pardon, Frank, but how old are you really?" asked the young lady, in a tone the very contrast of his. "Why, nearly twenty-you know my age to a day-and you are not eighteen; you have no right to lord it over me," answered the young ensign, with no little asperity. "Ha! ha! ha! that is a good joke," exclaimed Miss Singleton. "I have no intention of lording it over you, or in any way interfering with your proceedings. The truth is, that I am already a great deal too old for you, to begin with; you were always a slow boy, and are-I must again beg your pardon-a very slow young man, and I am a fast young lady of the modern school. I glory in the character, and do not intend to abandon it. Now, how do you think you and I should get on leading a barrack life? for, silly as you are, you wouldn't dream of leaving the army-you would become perfectly unbearable without a profession. Why, I will tell you. I should make you wretched-make you wish that you had never set eyes on me-and that I had had the sense, which I believe I possess, to refuse you, as I do positively and finally. Frank, I won't marry you; I like you too much for that! There, take my hand and shake it heartily, and go away and be a good boy, and forget all about the matter." He was gathering himself up to depart, when she added: "Only don't go and commit any other folly by marrying an innkeeper's daughter, or anything of that sort ; remember, if you do, that I shall despise and pity you, instead of thinking of you as I wish to do, with a kindly regard." "Then you will think of me sometimes?" said Frank, in a sentimental tone, attempting again to take her hand. "Go-go, foolish fellow-of course I will, if you cease teasing me, but not otherwise," was the answer. He seized his hat and gloves, stood for a moment irresolutely at the doorway, and then vanished through it. Julia Singleton went back to the table, took up her worsted work, tried to go on steadily with it, but did not succeed, then threw it down and walked towards the piano, glancing at the mirror over the mantelpiece on her way, where she saw reflected a remarkably pretty face, just then wearing a curious expression, it might have been of regret or annoyance, or pain of some sort at all events, it was not quite a pleasant one. She ran over the keys, played two or three airs, then stopped, tried to sing, but found her voice out of order, stopped once more, and made another scarcely more successful attempt, which was interrupted by the servant opening the door, and announcing " Miss Clavering!" "My dear Charlotte, I am so enchanted to see you!" exclaimed Julia Singleton. And the two young ladies rushed into each other's arms. Charlotte Clavering was also a very pretty girl, of the blonde style, while Julia had dark hair. In beauty they were rivals, and, it must be owned, did not love each other quite as much as they persuaded them-selves they did, and fancied that their friends believed they did. They both prided themselves on being fast, but Charlotte had been pronounced decidedly the fastest by the men of the -th Regiment, quartered at Drummerston-an opinion in which Charlotte herself fully agreed, while she undoubtedly did her best to keep up the character. Her father, a retired physician, not an over-wise man, was rather proud of her, and her brother Jack, two years younger than herself, thought her a very jolly girl, and purposed to follow in her footsteps-indeed, had begun to do so as far as he was able. Julia, who was an orphan, and left under the charge of an uncle and aunt, Mr. and Mrs. Stickleback, was not altogether destitute, though she understood that her fortune was but small. The family circle was further increased of late by a Mr. Paul Fandango, a brother of her aunt's, who had lately come over from the West Indies. "What makes you so out of sorts this morning, my dear Julia?" exclaimed Charlotte, as she threw herself on a sofa, and began tapping the VOL. LVIII. 2 R tip of her boot with her sunshade. "I detect a tinge of melancholy in that bright eye, as the men would say." "Nonsense, Charlotte," said Julia; "pray don't say that. I was never more inclined to be merry in my life. And now, do let us talk over our last ball; I haven't seen you since then. Have you again encountered the baron?" "Yes; I met him yesterday at Miss Overdone's. What a handsome man he is!" said Charlotte. "Do you think so?" said Julia, with a half smile. "He is a hairy man, at all events. Have you ever seen a gorilla, dear?" "No. Why do you ask me that?" exclaimed Charlotte, annoyed. "You don't pretend to say that the baron is like anything with so ugly a name and so bad a reputation!" "I did not say that he is like a gorilla, whatever my private opinion may be; but I do say that his name, Sneizawitch, is not pretty, and as to his reputation, however Miss Overdone may puff him up, it is decidedly of a shaky character, so Major Busby declares," answered Julia, with a toss of her little head, for she thought that there was a great probability of her friend becoming a baroness, and thus up-topping her in the social scale. Major Busby was one of Charlotte's acknowledged admirers. Captain Popaway, of the same regiment, was another, and she probably had several more whose attentions were less marked. She encouraged them all in turn, which was kind and considerate, as she thereby increased the sum total of human happiness. It is possible that some young ladies may be found not acting on the same humane principles. "Julia, my dear, you are wishing to aggravate me. I see it in the glance of your eye, and I know it by the tone of your voice!" exclaimed Charlotte, turning very red. "If the baron is hairy, I see no objection to him on that account. I look upon hair as an ornament to the human face, or it would not be allowed to grow. What can you say to that, my dear?" "Why, that on the same principle you might advocate the fashion of allowing the nails to grow long like the Chinese gentlemen. Scissors are given us to cut them," remarked Julia, with a short laugh. "Why, don't you consider long nails an ornament, dear?" "They may be ornaments, or, at all events, a sign that the wearer does not perform manual labour, but they would be dangerous appendages to the hands of some people I know," said Charlotte, looking very hard at her friend, and giving a satisfied toss of her head, as if conscious that she had made a home-thrust. "With the temper you are in, I will drop the subject, dear Charlotte," said Julia. "But I do say that tastes differ, and probably Mrs. Gorilla does not consider that her better-half is so very hairy after all." "In other words, you mean to say that, if I were to marry the Baron Sneizawitch, I should be no better than a gorilla; or, in other words, a mere brute!" exclaimed Charlotte, in a high key, resolved to quarrel with her friend. Julia looked as if she were prepared for the combat, and replied: "I never said that you were going to marry the baron. I didn't know that he had proposed to you, but, if you wish it, I can spread the information -people will be too delighted to hear the news, especially if the affair never came to a conclusion, which it is more than probable would be the case. These foreign barons and counts are sadly volatile characters, even when they are real, which they often are not, and they are invariably more attracted by money than any other qualification the lady may possess. There, dear, I only repeat what I have heard. What can you say to that?" "That it is a base slander if applied to individuals, and that you are taking an unwarrantable liberty in speaking as you do!" exclaimed Charlotte, bursting into tears. "No, Julia, I did not expect this of you -indeed I did not." "I did not want to say anything to hurt your feelings, dear," answered Julia, in her turn somewhat moved, and feeling herself guilty of no small amount of hypocrisy; but Charlotte did not stop, and Julia got up and threw her arms round her friend's neck and wept too, for, from certain reasons best known to herself, she had been much inclined thus to give vent to her feelings. The quarrel terminated like that between Brutus and Cassius, and the two heroines became faster friends than ever. CHAPTER II. THE HERO AND HIS FRIEND: A MORAL LESSON FOR THE BENEFIT OF ENSIGN MARSDEN walked along the High-street of Drummerston in a very disconsolate manner, and might possibly have gone on to the very end of it and out into the country, and miles a head, like the wealthy merchant of Amsterdam with the clockwork leg, had he not encountered Lieutenant Snigson, of the --th, that regiment being under orders for India. "My dear fellow, in the name of all that is magnificent, what is the matter with you?" inquired the lieutenant, whose ideas were always grand, though he lisped slightly. "Tell me, Marsden-confide your woes to my friendly keeping. What is it, for truly I never saw you so melancholick (isn't that the Shakspearean word?) since we became acquainted!" Saying this, Snigson took the ensign's arm, and, wheeling him about, marched him back to a pastrycook's, at which he had himself been before aiming. Marsden sighed deeply several times-a few almost incoherent words alone escaping from his lips. "Woes too deep for human utterance," "rest in the grave, ," "life's bitter cup," " hopeless wretchedness," were some of the expressions which reached Snigson's sympathising ear. The pastrycook's was entered; the bright eyes and sweet smiles of the superintending nymph, sweeter than the sweets they dispensed, might have had some effect, the cherry-brandy and queen's cakes undoubtedly had more, and under their genial influence the hitherto disconsolate ensign felt wonderfully revived. "One more glass of cherry-brandy and I think you'll do, my dear fellow," said Lieutenant Snigson; and the two officers walked out again -Marsden in a far happier and more confidential mood than before. "I thought so," said Snigson, laughing. "You had forgotten to take |