เ HERE he comes !' 'By gad, so he does! Hurrah! Some sport to-night.'

'Looks rather pale, doesn't he?' 'Yes, and will want a good deal of setting up too.'

'Poor devil! I pity him.' As I was not at all afflictedin that instance I might have said blessed-with deafness, these were a few of the remarks I could not help hearing as I drove up to the officers' mess of the cavalry barracks at Colchester, where I had come to join the regiment, to which I had been gazetted a couple of months before.

Quite unwittingly, I had chosen a very poor time for presenting myself. Mid-day stables' were just over, and almost all the officers of the regiment were waiting about the verandah till luncheon should be ready. They were none of them in very amiable tempers; for they had just heard in the office that a letter had come down for them to hold themselves in readiness to march to the autumn manœuvres at Aldershot, and Aldershot is, as most people know, a spot no cavalry officer at all rejoices to find himself near, even when there are no manoeuvres going on.

Anything more uncomfortable than were my feelings that morning could not be easily imagined. I had never met my regiment before. I knew none of the men, and I was quite at a loss to know to whom I must address myself. However, I was compelled to act;

and stumbling out of the cab, with my heart in my throat and great beads of perspiration breaking out upon my forehead, I stood for a moment while my future comrades inspected me, as if I were a polopony for sale.

My hesitation lasted but an instant. I chose my man, an elderly rather good-looking officer, with a bald head and well-waxed moustache; so, with a ghastly grin, I blurted out,

'I've come to join.'

'O, have you? said he carelessly, and with an expression of intense amusement on his face! 'Your name's Winter, I suppose? O, all right. O, all right. Come along with me, and I'll introduce you to the colonel. I think you have not met him yet.'

'No,' I answered, beginning to feel a little more at my ease.

'Wait a moment; I'll just make you acquainted with these fellows first.'

This terrible ordeal over, I was hustled off by my elderly friend to be presented to the colonel, whom we found sitting in the office with his adjutant making arrangements for the coming

manoeuvres.

'I've brought Mr. Winter to see you, sir. He's come to join,' said my guide.

'Ah, how are you?' said the colonel. 'I'm very glad to see you; for we're rather short of subalterns, and every addition is a great help. Have you got your

uniform and that sort of thing? I hope you'll like your work. Are you fond of riding?'

I answered modestly that I was, but I was afraid my experience in that line was rather limited. As I spoke, a few riding-school anecdotes began to crop up in my mind; for, during the two last months, every man I had met seemed to consider it his duty to impress upon me the fact that a riding-school is neither more nor less than a second Inferno. 'Brought any hunters down with you?' 'No, sir.'

'Umph! A pity! This is a fair hunting-district. However, those are little additions easily made, and I've no doubt you'll soon fall into the ways of the regiment. You'll find your brotherofficers quite ready to help you in anything so far as sport is concerned.'

Of a truth I did; for as soon as it became known that I was anxious to buy a hunter, there was scarcely an officer in the regiment who was not anxious to sell me one, 'perfectly sound, and quite good enough to win a steeplechase.'

My interview with the colonel over, I was taken by my elderly friend to have lunch. On the way to the messroom we met an officer, who seemed to me very old to be still in the army.

'Here's old Muggins, the riding-master,' said my guide, whom I afterwards found was called 'the Fossil,' on account of his antique appearance. 'Well, Muggins, this is Mr. Winter, just joined.'

'Ho!' said Mr. Muggins. 'Glad to see you. Fond of riding? Hey?'

I returned the same answer that I had given to the colonel on that subject, and Mr. Muggins grinned-a grin which somehow

He was a babyish-looking flaxen-haired cornet, with about as much hair on his upper lip as you might find upon that of a boy of twelve. He went-as I very soon heard, in spite of my fright-by the name of 'the Boy,' occasionally varied by that of the Brat.'

Ah, which is your county? drawled this youngster, quite affecting the old soldier.

'Devon,' said I, trying in vain to swallow a lump of cutlet which had found its way into my mouth; how, I was really too much excited to know, for I was painfully aware that every eye in the room was upon me.

'Ah, any hounds down there?' 'O yes. I think so,' I stammered, being in too much of a 'funk' to know, or rather remember, whether there were or not.

'Ah,' said my young cornet; and there our conversation ended, and I was thus enabled to hear a little of what was going on at the other end of the room; for two or three fellows, who had finished their lunch, had left the table and were standing in a group on the hearthrug.

'I should like to buy that chap at my valuation, and sell him at his own,' said one. 'I'm rather hard up, and the profit might help me a bit.'

'What a rum way the young beggar pronounces his h's!' said a second, taking no notice whatever of the previous remark.

'Ah,' put in a third, 'yes, poor devil! Probably he's only just learned them.'

'Not much to look at, is he?' said the first one, following up his own train of thought.

It may easily be imagined that these remarks did not tend to cure my extreme nervousness, which was evidently taken for 'swagger.'

After I had finished, or pretended to finish, some lunch, during which I managed to capsize a tumbler of beer half into my plate and half over the table, I was shown my room by the boy of tender years, who, being junior, was told-off to look after me and set me straight a bit.

My room proved to be about thirteen feet square by eleven high, and there I found two men busily engaged in unpacking my furniture, which had been sent down from town the day before.

Amongst a great number of deficiencies I found I had forgotten to buy sheets for my bed; but, luckily, one of the men, who was servant to another officer, managed to borrow a pair for me until I could get some sent up from the town.

In the course of an hour or two my room was put into something like order; and just as the men were leaving, I asked how my luggage had got there, and who had paid for my cab. They told me that they had done so, having rescued my boxes from a lot of young officers, anxious, I daresay, to discover where I had bought

my uniform, belts, boots, and, indeed, everything I possessed.

In my gratitude for their thoughtfulness I inquired how much they had paid the cabman, magnanimously intending to double it when I repaid them. The price they named, however, entirely precluded the possibility of this; in fact, it was so large that it would, I thought, have been sufficient to buy the cab itself, horse, man and all, out and out. One of the men informed me that he had been ordered to look after me, until I had got a servant of my own, and that he would return at half-past seven to dress me for dinner. As there was only about an hour to spare, I got out some writing-materials and wrote a letter to my father. Then I lay down upon my new bed until half-past seven should arrive.

I think I must have fallen asleep, for I remember nothing until I heard a loud 'jar-r-r-r-at' at my door.

'Come in!' I cried.

'It's half-past seven, sir, and I've brought you some hot water and your uniform ; but I can't find no mess-waistcoat, sir.'

"The devil!' I ejaculated, remembering suddenly that my tailor had told me the day before that it still required a little pressing, but should be sent down that night without fail; a promise he had, of course, taken infinite pains not to keep.

'Perhaps I can borrow one for you, sir,' suggested Robinson. 'For goodness' sake, go and try,' I said eagerly.

He left on the table a letter, which I immediately opened and found was an invitation from the colonel and officers of the regiment to dine. Not knowing the custom of the service, I at once set that down as 'chaff,' and the idea of

answering it never once entered my head.

In about five minutes Robinson returned, with a dilapidated article, which I almost failed to recognise as a cavalry mess-waistcoat.

'I am not going to put that thing on!' I said, with much indignation.

Robinson, however, assured me that, even if I had it, it would be useless to wear anything better; for the 400th Foot, who were quartered on the opposite side of the town, were to dine with the 52d Dragoons that night, and there was sure to be some extra rough work going on.

When my dressing was complete, I found, as every one does on joining, that my uniform did not fit as it seemed to do in the tailor's shop. My overalls were too loose and baggy, and not high enough in the waist. Indeed, it was only by strapping them up till I thought they would crack that I managed to make the top of the overalls and the bottom of the waistcoat meet at all. The borrowed waistcoat, too, was so tight and uncomfortable about the neck that I thought if I could persuade anything more solid than soup and champagne to pass down my throat that night, I should be extremely lucky.

At last I was ready, and compelled to betake myself off in spite of the utter discomfort I was in. It was wonderful how I missed the tails of my ordinary evening coat; and I went down the steps-one could hardly call them stairs—and along the verandah into the anteroom, feeling as if I had suddenly been transformed into an exceedingly long-legged Manx cat.

Here I found a couple of waiters busily handing sherry-and-bitters to a room full of officers, some of whom, from the difference in their

uniform must, I knew, belong to the 400th. I approached one of the latter, in a very deferential spirit, and had certainly not said a dozen words before he remarked, 'Ah, I suppose suppose you've just joined !'

This was a fact which I was most anxious to conceal, and the same sort of feeling crept over me which I should fancy comes over a man suddenly convicted of theft. I thought further parley with him would be useless, as he would be sure to laugh at everything I said, so I left him and sat down in a corner by myself until dinner was announced.

Being a guest, I was allowed to pass in amongst the first few, and had the pleasure of sitting next Major Silver, a man devoted to hunting, and never happy except in the pursuit of that sport or when talking of long-runs, hunters, and hounds. Now, as I wasn't very well versed in that line, we bored each other terribly, and I was glad when he transferred his conversation from me to his right-hand neighbour, and I was left alone. I was very tired with unpacking; the dinner was so long, and the ready banter and chaff so bewildering that once or twice it was as much as I could do to keep myself from falling asleep an achievement which, if I had indulged in it, would have probably been attended by very serious consequences, and of which, so long as I remained in the army, I should never have heard the end.

Happily, however, dinner could not last all night, and at eleven o'clock the colonel and major, with some of the senior 400th guests, rose and went into the anteroom. I was following them, at a very respectful distance, when

whirr, squash!-against the back of my head came an over-ripe

orange, which sent me flying, as I thought for a moment, into another world. I turned as quickly as I could to see who had thrown it, but not a man was out of his place, there was not a smile upon a single lip. One of them, however, asked me to come back and have another glass of champagne before I went to bed. So I returned, and had the pleasure of a glass of wine with a man called Burroughes, the senior subaltern, and a wild harumscarum sort of fellow, as I afterwards found to my cost.

This glass was followed by another and another and another, with first one and then another member of the mess, and, as the order of the night was no 'heeltaps,' I began to think that the best thing I could do would be to slip away and be off to bed. So, five minutes afterwards, little thinking how eagerly my brother officers were awaiting this event, and fondly imagining they were all too much occupied to take any notice of me or my exit, I quietly went to bed. In ten minutes I was sound asleep; but how long that sleep lasted I cannot say. I only know that I had a terrible dream, for I thought I had fallen into the hyena's den at the Zoological Gardens, and then I awoke. There was such a yelling and shouting and holloaing at the foot of my stairs that at first I feared there must be a fire or something of that sort. I soon discovered that the sounds were approaching my door with startling rapidity; and then, catching the sound of my own name, I knew instinctively that they were seeking me and meant me no good.

My first idea was that the best thing I could do would be to jump out of bed and slip on a smoking-suit or dressing-gown, and pretend I hadn't been to bed at

all; buton consideration I thought I would stick to my bed and feign sound sleep. I was fool enough to imagine that perhaps, if they found me asleep, they might go away. Poor deluded Cornet Winter!

My heart had given a tremendous jump when I first heard them; and as they came nearer and nearer, so it got higher and higher, until by the time they reached my door it was fairly in my mouth.

Has he locked the door? I heard a voice say.

'Yes, rather.'
'O, capital !'

What could that mean?
'Go on, somebody.'

In two minutes my door gave way, and about a dozen officers came rolling and tumbling over each other into the room. Then a voice, which I recognised as Burroughes's, called out, 'Winter!' No reply. 'Win-ter!'

This time a little louder.
Still no answer.

'Young devil's shamming; pull him out!'

Thereupon one or two seized the bar at the head of my bed, while as many others took hold of that at the foot, and they completely overturned me on to the floor, where I lay quite helpless with fright. Two young fellows immediately lifted me up, and, in spite of my urgent protests, conducted me down-stairs to the anteroom, a prisoner of war, and dressed exactly as I had tumbled out of bed, with the addition of a pouch-belt and girdle, which they put on over my night-shirt to give me a martial bearing, as they termed it. I found that the anteroom table had been completely cleared of the newspapers, which were usually scattered upon it,